Day 70: I am NOT on a diet

It is the weekend, and I tend not be be super regular about posting...I consider it a good thing, because then I am away from the computer and having fun with the fam.

I have been thinking and talking with Gary about how my wanting to lose weight was a life change.  Not a diet.  I have dieted many times, they all failed.  I have never tried to change my life.  To actually think about what I am putting in my mouth.  I am not perfect with this either, but I am getting better and healthier every day.    Anyone can diet.  Anyone can decide they are going to diet and on the short term, diet, by neglecting to eat certain things, or to exercise.  I did it time and again, then I stopped dieting.  What is different this time, is I am changing my life.  I am make new decisions.  I am choosing to grocery shop when I am in the right mind, not allowing the junk to come in.  If the junk does come in...the choice is there for me and I am not always strong enough to make the right choice against eating the junk.  So, I grocery shop, getting only the healthy things to bring into the house.  If we eat at someone else's home, I ask what is being served, if it is an unhealthy option, I offer to bring a salad.  Or I eat before I go.  Allowing myself to stay healthy.  I have eaten a hamburger, I have eaten ice cream, but not like I used to!  So My once in a while splurges have "gotten the desire out of my system".
Gary and I were talking about how 90 days ago, I wasn't ready.  I wanted to be ready, but I wasn't.  So I was in the diet mentality.  However 71 days ago, I decided I wanted to be healthy, I decided I wasn't going to lie to myself, I wasn't going to allow my self esteem to remain where it was.  I was going to make the choices to become healthy.  To make the choice to give my husband the wife he married.  To give myself my tiny buns back!  So while I want to eat brownies I choose not to.  While I feel like this weight loss is taking forever, it is happening, and it is happening today!  So no more sneaky eating, no more dieting.  Only choices that I make each hour, each day, that affect my scale, my self esteem, my health!  I will not diet, I will make healthy choices!