I love a sunny day more than so many things! However, right now in the background my son is crying, he has been for a few minutes. He is just a crab in the morning sometimes. But i love him just the same. The sunshine outside makes a morning a good morning! I am delighted by it. This past weekend we celebrated my birthday early with my family. We had ice cream cake from DQ. I love ice cream cake from DQ. My mom suggested I cut it in half and then cut it in strips so the pieces aren't so big. It was a great idea. I had my slice of cake it was just the right size, not too big! It was great, I tasted all I needed to taste and then I was satisfied.
I did it again with having a bite of something wasn't healthy, but wasn't horrible. I had a bite of a hamburger. It tasted great, but that was all I needed. It is so simple but it made sense.
I remember my youth and young adulthood. Food was something I ate and I did it because I needed food, not what I am dealing with now. Here is my story:
I grew up the skinny girl. When I graduated high school I was one of the skinny girls. I always thought I’d stay that way. When I went to college I gained a few pounds but remained the skinny girl. I then joined the Army. Stayed an incredibly fit skinny girl. I could run two miles in 15 minutes, I could do 72 pushups in 2 minutes and I could do 100 sit ups in 2 minutes. I loved exercising and running for fun. I never thought much about food, I just ate when I was hungry, and never really thought much about it. My husband and I got married and four days later I got out of the Army, just the same week that America went to war against Iraq.
My life changed…I was recalled to go back in the Army, and off to war I went. My husband left for war the same day. However, he went to the south and I went to the north about 800 miles of Iraq separated us. It was so hard. We hadn’t even lived together yet. The weight slowly came on. Slow enough that I didn’t even really notice it. By the 14th month of marriage, and separation, my husband came home to me and I was 30 lbs heavier. Then we moved to Minnesota and tried to have a baby, but I was told since I had a disorder (PCOS) that I’d have a low chance of getting pregnant. During this hard time, more weight was gained about 10 pounds. We adopted my amazing daughter and within two weeks of getting her…I found out I was 3 months pregnant! We were overjoyed and amazed at God’s goodness! Needless to say more weight was added to my already overweight body. My daughter was 7 months old when my son was born. I tipped the scales at 230 pounds the week before my son was born. I only managed to lose 10 of those pounds and I am pretty sure that was all because my son no longer lived inside of me.
So here I am… I am a mom of two amazing kids; Hava who is 4 and Gabe who is 3. I started blogging at the very end of 2009 about my weight loss, my goal was to lose 60 pounds in one year. By month 9 I had lost 30 pounds. I was so proud of myself, I felt great and loved all the compliments I was getting. I was even able to shop in a department store without going to the “Womens” section.
My sister and her kiddos moved in with our family this past fall and for some reason I stopped exercising and stopped eating right and started my weight gain journey. In 3 short months I managed to put all 30 of those pounds back on my body. I blame myself and only myself. I am an emotional eater, and when I get down and out I turn to food and start to hide away. So here I am, ready to start it again, armed with the knowledge that I can do this and it is a life change. I now know that weight gain is much easier than weight loss, so I will be ready to do this knowing I can't “diet” and then when I get to a good place throw in the towel. I need to continue my new healthy lifestyle of eating right and exercise for life. I know when life gets hard, or times get tough that I need to remain healthy. I will get through the hard times a lot easier when I have exercise as an outlet and food isn’t a weapon to use against my feelings.
I want to do this for my kids, I need to show them what a healthy lifestyle looks like before bad habits in their life are formed. I want to do it for my husband who married an athletic 135 pound woman. Most importantly, I want to do this for myself. I deserve good health, I deserve to feel good about myself and I deserve to feel good walking 60 miles in 3 days while I do the Breast Cancer 3 day again (for the 3rd year in a row). Walking is hard with all this weight. I weigh 211 pounds today. I weighed 217 pounds 10 days ago. I have changed my eating habits to include a healthy well balanced diet with proper portions and I started working out again. I understand every week I will not lose such big numbers but as long as I do it right and do it for life, I too can do lose weight and keep it off.
I stay home with my kids and work part time a few nights a week. I live in a wonderful place with my husband and kids. My niece lives with us now as well. She is 13 years old. I work out in the mornings so I can remind myself how hard it is to burn the calories I eat so I don’t make bad choices.